Redownloaded arma 3 over 10 hours and tried again, no luck, we are being cucked by battleye.
also found that this has been a problem for a while. https://www.vorpx.com/forums/topic/arma-3-battleye/
But yes, we can play arma 3 with vorpx, just with battleye turned off, i dont think ralf tried joining any online servers with it so thats why he isnt getting the problem.